3am and still awake

Tags

awake, Blogging, Insomnia, life, Motivation, passion, thinking, work, Writing

I don’t know what it is about 3am but I always feel more alert, more alive somehow. Even though most of the day has been spent walking around feeling like a zombie with my brain only working on autopilot: there is something about this time of night (or morning) that kicks it into gear.

It might be the fact that my body finally feels balanced with all its levels or perhaps the caffeine taken earlier to prop me up for the day finally comes into to its own. It could be the fact that 3am allows me to actually just enjoy silence and finally I feel relaxed enough to enjoy it. I’m not sure what it is about 3am – I only know that it works for me.

Ideas race around my brain and I begin to think about all the possibilities (and sometimes the impossibilities) that life could hold and feel more inclined to want to reach out and grab them. Maybe it’s just my brain working overtime but in the dead of night is when things actually feel possible.

I start to plot together ridiculous ideas of future plans and how I can leave the rat race and focus on something more fun, something I can throw some passion into – This is about the time I start to believe that sitting in a box, staring at a screen whilst making money for somebody else is a terrible idea and maybe I could just use some creativity and keep myself afloat without the daily grind, or at least make the daily grind something I can feel happier doing.

Then I get to thinking about all the things that I want to do and all the things I should do, then all the things I need to do…and alas I’m back at square one knowing that I have to at least try and sleep so that tomorrow isn’t even more terrible.

I guess tomorrow I can at least say I updated a neglected blog (even if it is only inane wittering) so that’s one thing more than I did yesterday…slow progress is still progress I guess 😉

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There are worse things to do than have a bath at 2am

Tags

Insomnia, Poetry, Writing

There are worse things to do than have a bath at 2am

Such as listening to the buzzing of streetlights which glare through the window

Like watching the drops drip from a tap which you know has been tightened fully

Like listening to the fence groan against the pressure of the wind

Or the skitter from the room above you causing you to wish that dog ever went outside.

At 2am, you could be wrestling with thoughts that won’t submit

Your mind, a formula one track, your body the tyres,

Constantly thinning and wearing to the brink.

2am could be etching in your mind the worries of the day ahead.

A continuous list of ‘to do’s’ on an ever moving reel.

You could instead be worrying how your alarm won’t go off.

How you will be so content once finally asleep that the morning will not wake you

You could be imagining all the ways in which the day could have turned out,

Things which could have been,

Things which will now never be,

Things that tomorrow will be.

Instead you might just take a bath,

and think about all the things which could be worse to do at 2am